جيش الظلام

[Last Lines (Theatrical Cut)] Hail to the king, baby!

Good, bad... I'm the guy with the gun.

[trying out his new prosthetic gloved hand] Groovy!

[about to kiss Sheila] Gimme some sugar, baby.

It's a trick. Get an axe.

Yo, she-bitch! Let's go!

[sets "Evil Ash" on fire, then swings towards him on a rope] TALLY HOOOO! [kicks him off the castle wall]

Klaatu Barada NNNNNNecktie. Nectar. Nickel. Noodle. It's an "N" word, it's definitely an "N" word! Klaatu... Barada... N [clears his throat into his hand, then pauses] Okay... that's it!

[crushing skeletons with boulders] OH, THAT'S GOTTA HURT!

[after being burned and reduced to a skeleton by Ash] I got a bone to pick with you!

OOH, YOU MISERABLE BAGS OF BONES! PICK YOURSELVES UP, AND SALLY Fagghh- [jaw dislocates; he relocates it] SALLY Fagghh- [jaw dislocates again; he relocates it again] ...sally forth.

1 man, 1 million dead, the odds are just about even.

Foretold by a mystical book. Forewarned by a wiseman. Fulfilled by a wiseguy.

In an age of darkness, at a time of evil... When the world needed a hero, what it got was him.

Sound the trumpets, raise the drawbridge, and drop the Oldsmobile.

Get ready. Get set. Get dead.

First you wanna kill me, now you wanna kiss me. [spits out grape seed] Blow.

Keep your damn filthy bones outta my mouth!

[final monologue] Sure I could've stayed in the past. Could've even been king. But in my own way, I am king.

Three books? Wait a minute... hold it. Nobody said anything about three books! Ooh, that stinkin' wiseman! He was so busy fillin' me full of his secret little words and his phrases and his BULLSHIT, that he never said anything about this!