Buddy Holly (Kevin McDonald): I’m fuckin’ Buddy Holly! That’s who I am!

Dave Foley: I once shot a man just to watch him die, then I got distracted and missed it. Oh my friends tried to describe it to me, but it just isn't the same.

Dave Foley: So when people say to me let sleeping dogs lie, I say to them, friend, sleeping dogs...they eventually wake up...and chew out the throat of democracy!

Bruce McCulloch: Now I'm more confused than a horny bisexual at an orgy!

Sir Simon Milligan (Kevin McDonald): Now, for those of you with a brave heart and for those of you who have stayed, look into my face and know, to look into my face is to look into the face..of EVIL!

Cab driver: When I was a little boy, my mother used to sing me a song. It went like this: Life is short, life is shit, and soon it will be over.

Raymond Hurdicure (Dave Foley): So I hear Dad's dead, hey is that eggnog?

Cisco (Bruce McCullough): Soak it up you ugly sponge.

Chris: Cat on my head!

German Patient: The nipples of Mother Hope have run dry.

Don: You know, those words hurt. But you must realize they come from a man who's gone mad with depression. Unfortunately, it seems to happen to some of our greatest geniuses. People like Oppenheimer, Schweitzer, Boxcar Willie...

Scientist: It was only a couple of Flipper babies!

Darill: (to date) You look alarmed! Is it because you find something alarming?

Jesus (Scott Thompson): Forgive them Father, for they know not what they do, for they walk through this life in toe-crampity shoes. (

Raymond Hurdicure (Dave Foley): Sorry we're late Ma, but you know how the kids hate old people.