[upon seeing Veronica Corningstone for the first time] By the beard of Zeus!

For all of us here at News Center Four, I'm Ron Burgundy. You stay classy, San Diego.

It's so damn hot . . . milk was a bad choice!

By the hymen of Olivia Newton John!

It's called Sex Panther by Odeon. It's made with bits of real panther, so you know it's good. They've done studies, you know. Sixty percent of the time, it works every time.

Mm, I love scotch. I love Scotch. Scotchy, Scotch, Scotch. Here it goes down. Down into my belly. Mm-mm-mm.

The arsonist has oddly shaped feet.

[clears throat] The Human Torch was denied a bank loan.

Oh, come on. Audrey. I look like hell. I got bags under my eyes. What's that? Well, if you were a man, I would punch you. I'd punch you right in the mouth. That's bush. Bush league.

Knights of Columbus that hurt!

[to Brian Fantana] “We've been coming to the same party for 12 years now...and in no way is that depressing.”

I woke up this morning on the floor of some Japanese family's rec room, and they would not stop screaming!

Como éstan, bitches! Spanish language news is here. Tonight's top story: the sewers run red with Burgundy's blood.

Policia!

Not so fast, you ingrates! Public News Team is taking a break from its pledge drive to kick some ass. No commercials! No mercy!

Ladies and gentlemen, can I please have your attention? I've just been handed an urgent and horrifying news story. I need all of you to stop what you're doing and listen. Cannonball!

[to Veronica Corningstone] Apparently, my son was on something called acid and was firing a bow and arrow into a crowd. You know how kids are!

Good evening. I'm Ron Burgundy, and this is what's happening in your world tonight. A La Jolla man clings to life at a university hospital after being viciously attacked by a pack of wild dogs in an abandoned pool.

[voiceover] When the clock struck six, it meant one thing for Ron Burgundy and his news team: go time.

How are you? You look awfully nice tonight. Hmm? Maybe don't wear a bra next time. No, I was talking to you. No, not her. I don't know her name. What is it? Lanolin. La - Lanolin? Like - like sheep's wool?