メラニーは行く!

Like I could tip a cow BY MYSELF!

Well, you must be Jake's hot date. I'm Melanie, Jake's snotty Yankee bitch wife whom he refuses to divorce even though I'm engaged to another man.

You're the first boy I ever kissed, Jake, and I want you to be the last.

[after leaving Andrew at the altar as a thunderstorm is approaching] Hey, y'all! If you're friends of the bride, stick around! I'm gonna go find me a groom!

[final line] Hey, Stella! Make it a slow one.

Honey, just 'cause I talk slow don't mean I'm stupid.

Since when does it have to be one or the other? You can have roots and wings, Mel.

You can take the girl out of the honky tonk, but you can't take the honky tonk out of the girl.

You can't ride two horses with one ass, sugarbean.

You dumb stubborn redneck hick.

[to Lurlynn] Look at you, you have a baby... In a bar. [Lurlynn: Hell, I got 3 more at home! This one’s still on the tit, so I can cart him anywhere.]

[After punching Kate] Nobody talks to my mama like that! [Earl Smooter: Praise the Lord, the South has risen again!]

[On seeing her father in his Confederate uniform] Christ Almighty, Daddy, how am I gonna explain you in New York?

[after Melanie tells Andrew that she still loves Jake at the wedding] I've never met anyone so manipulative, so deceitful...and I'm in politics.

[after Melanie punches Kate] Praise the Lord, the South has risen again!

[Drunk, at the bar] Oh Bobby Ray....why don't you just go to a gay bar. [Eldon: What would B-Ray do at a gay bar?]

Well for starters, you can get your stubborn ass down here and give me a divorce.

[about the divorce papers Melanie wants him to sign] The only reason I ain't signin’ is cause you've turned into some hoity toity Yankee bitch and I'd like nothin’ better right now than to piss you off.

[to Melanie] Woo-oo. You look like sex on a stick in that Frederick Montana getup.

[Seeing her father in his Confederate uniform, leaving to go to 'battle'] "People need a passport to come down here."